Journey Through the Planets Read online

Journey Through the Planets

  A one act play by Mike Wallick

  Copyright 2014 by Mike Wallick

  This ebook is licensed for personal or educational enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please download an additional copy for each recipient. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author. Teachers may copy these scripts for classroom work. There is no royalty fee due for any performance at which there is a paid or unpaid audience. Please notify the author at [email protected] if you perform this work. Videotaping of performances is encouraged. Please assign author credit where applicable.

  Cast of Characters: In order of appearance

  Narrator

  Captain AckAck

  Steward

  2 Medical Techs

  Jury, the Cruise Director

  Bezox

  Owi

  Glowi

  Bring

  Brang

  First Officer Kahoutek

  Viking

  Rover

  72

  73

  Jacksun Orbitpun

  Security Chief U

  Protest Leader

  Group Secretary

  Protester 2

  Protester 3

  Daoni

  Scene opens with a set displaying the interior of a passenger space ship. Two cast members are set at stage right, facing towards rear right. This location should appear to be separate from the main stage since it is the cockpit of the ship with the Captain and First Officer, who communicate mostly by way of a microphone and speakers to the main cabin.

  The Main stage is the cabin of the ship and should appear to include the audience members back rows of passengers. Cast members should include them in comments directed to the passengers.

  Journey through the Planets-

  (Lights up with Narrator on stage facing the audience)

  Narrator: Welcome to Star Trips. Today we are going on a journey. You have chosen to travel throughout the solar system on a luxurious star cruiser called the PillowCaser. Unfortunately, the PillowCaser has been called in for maintenance due to its Star Drive getting stuck in the Neutral Zone and we have been placed into this comparable liner, called the LumpyBag. We’re sure you will enjoy the ride so let’s get going!

  Captain AckAck: Welcome aboard ladies and gentlemen, and any other beings that are journeying with us. This is your Captain, Captain AckAck. We will be traveling at a speed of 22,000 mph and at an altitude of, umm, really high. Please buckle your seat belts and prepare for lift-off.

  (Steward and Daoni enter. Daoni is carrying a bulky belt.)

  Steward: Ladies and gentlemen and anything else, if you will all watch Daoni who is standing in the center aisle, you will note that she is showing you how to buckle your seatbelt. If you continue to watch you will note that she is now showing you how to unbuckle your seatbelt and is having a real hard time doing that. If you are still watching Daoni you are noticing that she has fallen to the ground in a relentless attempt of undoing that pesky little buckle so we can continue to show you our preflight instructions. Since Daoni is obviously unable to loosen her seatbelt and since we have just taken off we will discontinue the preflight instructions and all rush to the aid of Daoni to free her from the clutches of the seatbelt of doom. You might not want to buckle yours if you still haven’t done so.

  (Siren sounds and two medical personnel rush onto stage and lift/carry Daoni offstage. Steward exits.)

  Captain AckAck: Ladies, gentleman, and anything else, this is your Captain speaking. We have reached our cruising speed and are heading for the planet Mercury. I recommend closing your window screens at this time since the heat and intense light from the sun will create a rather intense sunburn that will last for at least 435 years. So, unless you are looking for tan city, close them now. Thank-you!

  (Jury the Cruise Director enters)

  Jury the Cruise Director: Good after breakfast Ladies, Gentlemen, and anything else, I’m Jury your cruise director and I will be with you on the entire journey making sure that you have a really great time. We’ll be having all kinds of fun including a scavenger hunt, shufflecards, license plate bingo, and “Who Wants to Be an Alien?”

  Captain AckAck: Ladies and Gentlemen, we are now landing on the surface of Mercury. For those of you wishing to disembark we have a local Mercurian who will be demonstrating for you how to best behave on his planet. Please watch in front as Bezox enters and shows you how to walk on Mercury.

  (Bezox enters and begins hopping around and yelling)

  Bezox: “Ouch! Ow! Ouch! Hot! Hot! Yowch! My tender tootsies!”

  (Bezox jumps around for around 30 seconds and then exits).

  Captain AckAck: Ladies and Gentlemen since no-one has ever left the ship for Mercury we will now be leaving and moving on to our next destination, the planet Mars. We will now have our first meal service. Your stewards Owi and Glowi will be working their way through the cabin to offer you a meal choice.

  (Owi and Glowi enter with a cart and glare at the audience.)

  Owi: Alright, lissen up. We ain’t got any choice, see? You get what you get and you better love it, see?

  Glowi: Yes, love it no matter the taste because it’s free.

  Owi: Rhyming again, why do you always do that?

  Glowi: The meat is tender, it doesn’t have much fat.

  Owi: Stop rhyming with me! I’ve had enough!

  Glowi: Not much fat, and not too tough.

  Owi: Stop it! Stop it! Stop it right now!

  Glowi: It must be from a real marinated cow.

  Owi: That does it, I’m finished, you’re on your own!

  Glowi: The grasses they eat are all free range grown.

  Jury the Cruise Director: Owi, Glowi. Come on now. This is no way to act. These people are hungry. Can’t you see that?

  Owi: I’m sorry Jury, but this burns me up.

  Glowi: Water, tea, coffee in a cup?

  Owi: AAUUGGGHHH!! You see? Doesn’t anyone care?

  Glowi: Try it well done, medium, or even rare.

  Owi: Stop! We can’t do rare. That’s not even true!

  Glowi: The leftover beef makes a great stew.

  Owi: (running offstage) I quit! I quit! I can’t take anymore!

  Glowi: (running after) Good! We need to go to the grocery store!

  Jury: Sorry about that. I’ll see about getting your dinners to you soon. But right now, let’s start the scavenger hunt. I’ll pass out your sheets and whoever brings back the most items on the sheet will win the prize, donated by Slicker and Slicker of the planet Glovebox, this personal tailcomb, (reading) it will keep your main tail as fashionable as the best Shanta on your planet. Good luck!

  (Jury passes out sheets while reading off the items)

  Jury: “the tail flake on an Arturus”, “a chest button from a Dynofur”, “snout grease from an Atapod”, “the extra fingernail of a lemonite’s right paw”, and “one really smelly shoe from an earthling”.

  (Bring and Brang, two audience members located in the front row take the sheets and jump up and down giggling.)

  Bring: We’re going to win!

  Brang: Let’s go find everything!

  Bring: I get the tailcomb!

  Brang: I get the tailcomb! You can have the box it comes in.

  Bring: Deal!

  Brang: I get the tailcomb!

  Bring: I get the box!

  Brang: Let’s go! (runs offstage)

  Bring: Yeah! (runs offstage)

  First Officer Kahoutek: Ladies and Gentlemen, the Captain has turned on the “no smoking or emitti
ng other noxious gases” sign so please return to your seats as we prepare for our descent onto the Planet Mars. For those of you who will be departing at this time, thank you for flying the LumpyBag.

  (Steward enters)

  Steward: Alright. We have two passengers coming onboard from Mars. They’ve been here for awhile and I think they are both a bit tired and just want to rest. Let’s make room for the Mars Viking.

  (a Viking walks onstage, dressed either as the Norse Viking or a Minnesota Viking.)

  Viking: (yawning) I’m really bushed. I just want to rest and close my eyes. Rover! You coming?

  (a dog shuffles onstage, panting and pawing)

  Viking: How’s your day Rover?

  Rover: Ruff!

  Viking: What’s the ground like where you were?

  Rover: Ruff!

  Viking: Had anything to eat today?

  Rover: Bark!

  Viking: You’re kidding! Let’s go find Owi and Glowi and get something to eat and then get some rest. You want to sleep on the floor?

  Rover: Roof!

  Viking: Really! Well, I suppose with no gravity you can do that, so why not? Let’s go!

  (they exit)

  First Officer Kahoutek: Ladies and Gentlemen, we will now be departing Mars and heading for Saturn.

  Captain AckAck: But first………

  First Officer Kahoutek: You aren’t really going to make me say that again, are you?

  Captain AckAck: But first……..

  First Officer Kahoutek: Oh alright…But first, we have to stop by the Earth’s moon, because…

  Captain AckAck: Because…….

  First Officer Kahoutek: Forgive me for this….because it’s going through a phase.

  (AckAck is laughing hysterically)

  First Officer Kahoutek: I hate when you make me do that.

  Jury the Cruise Director: Ladies and gentlemen, if you care to, this would be a good time to take a